I make the internet beautiful. Front End Developer with a crush on the back end. Hubspot COS Penguin. Favorite color is #bada55 - I think I may have just told a lie! This purple color is more like my favorite color, I just wanted to write badass


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I’ve been pirating music since 1996 and have a different feeling now


Listening to Twenty One Pilots, Vessel, 35 days until Bonnaroo. I’ve bought over 500 dollars in vinyl albums in the past year all with artists that are playing at Bonnaroo. Most of the artists playing are on the circuit because they have a new album coming out. Do you know how much I have spent on music before this year? I’ve been burning music for people since before Napster. I’ve never found value in it, I enjoy music soooo much, it is pretty insane. Music moves my body and my life forward. I’ve bought a few compact discs over the past year. That is a CD to some of you that grew up on iTunes, Pandora and Spotify. Oh shit. I just realized I paid for Pandora for the past few years, and Spotify for the past 7 months probably. Spotify was such a leap, no a bound above Pandora. Pandora helped me find musicians like, I can’t even remember that brought me from an Incubus station to this mild dub stepping song that was like Kanye West’s power, but with a different sound. The beat. It was crazy how Pandora would match that. That lead to all sorts of great music from DJs that have had me fist pumping at 4am in my living room with the feeling that I am there. I digress.

Spotify is awesome, Tidal will probably be a good buy for someone like me, but ALBUMS. Man. Albums. Oh yeah, back to the CDs I’ve bought. Twisted Method Escape to Cape Coma, Linkin Park Meteora, Eminem Marshall Mathers Slim Shady and haven’t stopped, and maybe one or two more since High School. 1996 or 1997. I’ve been downloading music for that long. Because I could, because I could find it, because someone challenged me. I just did it. So, Pandora was like 20 bucks a year for the first few years and we shared it between a few friends. So it was 20 bucks one year and it lasted a few without having to spend money. Got Spotify free when I got this piece of shit Sprint phone. This pretend waterproof phone S Sport. Blah. Sandbagged. Anyways, 6 months for free. I’m about to spend another $20 dollars on music. I spent 10 last month on my first paid month of it. It is great for anywhere I am. I can even download songs to my devices so when I know I won’t have a signal (cruise, camping, trapped in a basement against your wishes — you STILL HAVE MUSIC!!!!) I can still listen and be motivated. I have to turn the album over I’m listening to. It doesn’t just play a new random song.

You are involved when you listen to an album. You understand you have to flip it over. I remember flipping tapes when I was a kid. You could do it so much faster if you practiced. Or if you were constantly recording things from the radio because you didn’t want to pay for it…. Probably not in my head but might have to do with my view on how music should be. I don’t know if you are involved, I am. I have this chair that is like bungee cords that make it up. There is a picture. You sink into it. You have the fan on and you just feel the music from the needle. You are just listening to music to get you through the day, you just ended the day with this music. It puts you where you needed to be, and you are just there with nothing else but the experience. The music. It empowers and recharges. Music is everything. If it isn’t music, it is something that makes you heart beat a little faster so you can be prepared for anything. It can get your mind so right where you can just act without thinking. I didn’t meant to say that, I meant to say you can think without thinking. That sounds better!

So the records, they are awesome. This bungee chair is awesome. This is the first time I wrote something in a minute, except a few work things that have gotten me a little motivated to do something more like this. But it is my time to go. I’m going to sit back and relax and think about Bonnaroo.

You know what. I feel like that last sentence just put me on to something.

I’m still not decided about my feelings

Name Generator part 1


So I found a list of little programs that I could make to better learn programming (actually from r/programming) and I’ve decided that I’m going to knock some of them off the list and work through them on my blog.  Because this is the first one in the series I really wanted to do it using just javascript.  This title has changed a few times.  I thought of going into creating a database and working through that.  I have also thought about creating a custom page in WordPress and working through that with its own template.  In the thirty minutes I’ve been trying to decide what to do, I have gotten no programming done.  This happens often when thinking about a project.  Sometimes, if you have some direction it can be better to just sit down and code and make your adjustments later.  And that is what I’m going to do.  I’m going to open up my editor and get working, and we’ll see the direction of the program whenever I come back.

So, from what I have figured out so far, an api doesn’t exist in it’s regular form, but I found an older version.  I’m not going to get into the details of getting something from github today, I will have to cover that in another blog post.  Anyways, Guy Davis has a repo on github called Baby Name Map and I’m going to throw that on a website and see how that works.  

How do I start making websites?

HTML5_Wallpaper_1680x1050This is what people ask me all the time. I have a great friend that I’ve been telling him to do shit, and it doesn’t work. So now, I’m going to make a blog and make him start doing it. That is all for now. This is day 1, I’m on google hangouts with him while he is in his bed not making websites. Let’s see how the next 6 months go!

How do I include a file and return it using a function using PHP?

downloadThis is what I searched for all day. I hadn’t ever tried to do it before and here I am trying to make a website and I’m not able to return this to my page properly. I have my pages set up like this:

        <meta charset="UTF-8">
        <meta description="Cooking Classes">
        <title>Chef Website</title>
        <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="css/style.css">
        <link href="http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Josefin+Slab:400,600,700" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css">
        require_once 'includes.php';   
        echo Chef::getHeader();
        echo Chef::getSlider('Home');
<!--That is all we really need to see for the example
That is the basic breakdown of what I am doing. I’m requiring my includes file, then I’m running functions inside of it and returning html to the website. This is what the includes.php files looks like:

class Chef {
     public static function getContent($headerTitle, $pageName) {
        $title = '<div id="contentTitle"><h2>'.$headerTitle.'</h2></div>';
        $contentTop = '<div id="contentText"><p>';
        $contentBottom = '</p></div>';
            include 'content/'.$pageName.'.txt';
        return $title.$contentTop.ob_get_clean().$contentBottom;
What happens here is the text file I include is put into the output buffer [ob_start()]. AHHH. That was the moment. I had to put it in the output buffer to keep it from displaying directly on the screen. I can now access the content by using the function ob_get_clean(). Is there another way to do this? What works best for you? And always, if this code is crap, please be constructive — I don’t know everything that you know! Thanks and hope this helps you!

Possible Trends for 2014 in Website Design

Web design over the years has almost gone complete circle. You will see a lot of cleaner websites today. Years ago they were full of flash and animated stuff, gradients, etc… today? They are going in the simple and clean design. Flat UI / Colors. It is amazing that we are taking a minimal approach now a days from what the web looked like before. Now, not everyone is moving in this direction! Below are a few items I think will be around for 2014’s new web designs.

Continuous Scrolling

You see it on the main page of the website here.  You notice it on facebook while scrolling through your Newsfeed, you also see it on websites like Reddit when you have the RES enabled.  As more data is appearing on websites, this kind of page design will continue to load up your content with ajax and bring it to you when you get to a certain point on your screen as you scroll!

Parallax Scrolling

If you don’t know what Parallax scrolling is, here is a great example:  Life Of Pi Website.  In 2013 designers were just touching the tip of the iceberg with this method of delivering you content.  I imagine that as 2014 rolls along you will see high dollar websites doing just this, and getting really creative with different pieces of their website.

Better UX

In 2014 the designers are going to be about a better User Experience(UX).  Be ready for easy to navigate websites that have been tested on a variety of users to make sure you find everything on the page, and quickly!


I love using new fonts in a web design, and you will see many more appear now that Google Fonts is loaded up, as well as other sites like Font Squirrel are loading up their fonts and allowing designers to access them from all over the world!  Standard fonts like Verdana, Arial and Georgia will still stay around, but look for headings and other pieces of the website to contain a nice font!  

Flat Design

ios7 When I saw Apple switch over in iOS7 to a flat interface I was dropping my jaw. This is going to cause everyone to follow along as Apple is generally a company that sets the trends.         Stay tuned for part two where I will discuss other trends I see coming to 2014, and the ones I wish would go away (SLIDERS!).    

Looking to install Apache Server 2.2 on your Windows 7 machine but don’t want to compile?

apacheI came across this while pulling my hair out.  Has x86 and x64 installers for windows 7.  Check out the link to get more details.  Gotta give credit where credit is due! http://www.anindya.com/apache-http-server-2-2-x64-and-x86-msi-installers/ Thanks so much for making my night end nicely. I was having major issues with 2.0.64 and installing php 5.3 — Hopefully this works out on my local machine now!      

Candy Crush Select All 50 players for help! It’s so easy now!

Playing Candy Crush can be time consuming.  You really just want to play after your lives run out, right?  Gotta clear that jelly!   WELL.  Let’s show you how to select all of the people on your list. Check out the pictures, so we are on the same page. This is when you click Ask Friends  askfriends   That will bring you to this screen friends   Make sure you click on Candy Crush Saga Players (or you will annoy people that don’t play the game) Now… Depending on your browser, this is the part that will look a little different.  I’m going to do some screenshots from mine, which is google chrome. What you want to do is hit F12 on the keyboard. It will bring up the developers tools.  You are looking for the option, CONSOLE. Click that — you can see I circled it in red below. f12   After clicking console, it will switch to where you can type in at the bottom left.  Blinking cursory.  I hope you found it. typein Right in there… I want you to copy and paste this into it.
 meepFace = document.getElementsByName("checkableitems[]");for (var i=0; i < meepFace.length; i++) {meepFace[i].checked = true; if(meepFace[i].type =="checkbox") {meepFace[i].click();} }
And that is it.  will take a second.  What we are doing is using some web stuff to find all of the checkboxes, then make them checked, and also clicked.  I just did this both ways, in case it changes in the future. You can hit f12 now to make that screen go away. Share this with your friends that love that candy crack.

Changing a DATA-ICON in jQuery Mobile

jquerymobileStarted playing with jQuery Mobile last night. Friends have been wanting me to make a tournament app that will help us stay organized when playing ping pong on Monday Nights. I said ping pong, not beer pong. Second question is always…. “Do you guys hit it from like 20 feet back?” Sure, if the garage was big enough, it would be like that, but we are somewhat limited. There are occasions when one side can get that far back. As the rambling goes on I will go ahead and say it seems that jQuery Mobile doesn’t have a way to just change the data-icon using the .attr('data-icon', 'plus');. Of course I would fight with it for about 45 minutes. Well, I wanted to get this down here this morning so that I could make sure I would follow up with an answer here as soon as I figure it out! If you want to see what is going on so far – http://jsbin.com/udaziy/11/edit Oh yeah. So I was being silly. $(this) .find('.ui-icon') .addClass('ui-icon-delete') .removeClass('ui-icon-plus'); I was targeting the wrong
  • element, causing this to get all goofed up. Sometimes a second set of eyes is needed!
  • Using Team Foundation Server, GIT, and Visualstudio.com to set up a a team project that you already have started

    The first time I tried to get this started with a co-worker it worked no problem.  We got real lucky.  Since then we had 5 or 6 failed attempts.  I was searching all over the internet and just couldn’t figure out how to get the project started.  This was my first time using GIT and my first time using Team Foundation Server.  My buddy and I really tried a few different ways.  I believe I will be adding how to do via command line over the next few days, as my buddy likes to use command line and we will get that process up here.  I started a thread on /r/learnprogramming and started to document what i was doing and what wasn’t working.  This is my attempt at cleaning it up a little. I’m sure I will be posting, as soon as we get it set up, a way to do this on your local network. Setting Up A Team Project using Visualstudio.com, Team Foundation Server and GIT This assumes you have git for vs and the updates for visual studio.  If you need help with this, put it in the comments Get started by being in your subdomain.visualstudio.com and clicking on New Team Project + Git visualstudiodotcom The Create New Team Project will appear.  Type in your project name(NOTE:  I found that leaving the spaces out of this stuff prevents the %20s in your project name), description,  Process Template (I’m using MSF for Agile Software Development 6.2.)  Why?  I’ve heard of Agile before… Version control = Git.  Create the project. createnewteamproject Your project is created and your team is going to absolutely love this.  Do you know how many times I read this?  Quite a few times while trying to get this to work.  I didn’t think my team was going to love anything. completed Now what we have to do is set up your additional members.  I already have my members set up, so I just have to pick them. Click on Manage all members managemembers Clicking on Add is where you want to be. addmember Add with their Windows Live ID, or if they are already in there, type in their display name addauser Okay.. that is out of the way.  You have a project set up on your remote repository and can get started setting up the project locally and syncing everything up.  As you can see, I have a bunch of failed testing examples, team planet stuff that I was attempting to get to work.  So, below is the start page.  Click on Connect to Team Foundation Server NOTE: I found that leaving the spaces out of this stuff prevents those %20s startpage Your connect to team foundation server is going to come up. Select your server, make sure you are in the right collection, then select your team project.  I took this screenshot before I cleared out the garbage…  But I selected Spam_Test. connecttoteamfoundationserver After clicking connect, you will want to make sure you have your Team Explorer window accessible (View / Team Explorer if it isn’t in one of your side bars) You will see, in yellow, a CLONE option. Click on that.  That is going to take your newly connected repo and make a spot for it on your local machine. teamexplorer-connect Now you are going to point where you would like to store your local Git Repository.  Point it, then click Clone clonegitproject Now you want to copy over your files from your original project to where you just pointed your Local Git Repository (in the last step) — I used Windows Explorer windowsexplorer I’m using File, Open Web Site – Because that is the easiest way for me to get this going.  If you have your project file in the same folder, after moving the folder, I’m not sure how that works out. If you do, let me know. openwebsite Open up your Team Explorer again. You will see just under the top options, you have a drop down.  Click on that and click on changes/git changes teamexplorer-localgitrepository After doing so, you will see Untracked Files.  Add All will move them up in to your included Changes. untrackedfiles Now, type in a commit message, then click Commit (after verifying your Included Changes) commit This is when Microsoft Visual Studio will ask you to save your current project.  This is when I take the opportunity to save it in the same directory.  I’m doing this because I want to make sure that I sync the project file with the project (so that all developers can be on the same page!).  If I am doing this wrong, let me know! savechanges Commit Successful! commitsuccessful You will notice your solution files are now in the Untracked Files if you added them to your repo directory.  I added them and then did a second commit. commit2success Now you will want to push your commits.  That will take the files on your local repository and push them to your visualstudio.com server area. Check out what is going on below.  Get to the Commits drop down.  Under outgoing commits, click push. pushingcommits After clicking sync you will see that you are syncing.  NOTE.  Master.  That is the master branch.  If you don’t know what you are doing and start workign on another branch.. this will get a little confusing. syncing And you are finished! successpushingcommits

    Jquery and Javascript to help with your clients need to change their website

    javascriptI have had clients wanting to update their website.. Minimal things, where I don’t want to spend the time to go in and make the changes. I’ve started playing around with xml files when I was doing a google map plug in.. and I thought.. well, this isn’t so hard now! This one piece I started doing is an employment roster. They can add, change, and remove employees as they need to. All they have to do is update via FTP and they will be good to go. I imagine I will be supporting this for every new client I put this on. Let’s make sure we have our Jquery in thesection. Let’s load it from Google!   Once that is taken care of, I will show you a little excerpt of the code we are working with. We are going to assign classes to the places that we want to replace in the HTML file. The HTML  
    <div id="staffSection">
    <h2 class="staffName">name</h2>
    <img class="staffPic" />
    <h2 class="staffPosition">position</h2>
    <p class="staffDescription">paragraphs of text</p>
    The CSS
    #staffSection { width: 300px; height: 500px; background-color: #ddd; }
    h2 { font-size: 18px; color: #000; padding: 20px; }
    .staffPic { width: 250px; background: #fff; padding: 10px; margin: 20px 15px; }
    .staffDescription { font-size: 15px; margin: 20px; color: #000; }
    Let’s get to the script we are going to put at the bottom of the page Because we are setting up one of these on each page, we will define a staff number for each page.
    var displayStaffMember = 2; // This will display staff member 2 in the XML file, this will change for every file you want this page on
    $(document).ready(function() { // Has to be on document read - the HTML has to be loaded for it to be replaced
    Let’s go ahead and call in ajax to do some lifting
    Let’s get our ducks in a row
    type: "GET",
     url: "ftp/staff.xml",
     dataType: "xml",
     success: function(xml) {
    Now that we have all the setup out of the way, we have to locate the information we want out of the XML file. What I do is for each staff I want to go through the XML file and make sure I have the right staff (remember declaring our var displayStaffMember earlier?) number and we’ll replace that HTML with the proper information.
    $(xml).find('staff').each(function () {
        var staffId = $(this).attr('id');
        var staffMember = $(this).attr('name');
        var staffPosition = $(this).attr('position');
        var staffPicture = $(this).attr('pic');
        var staffDescription = $(this).attr('description');
        if (staffId == displayStaffMember) {
            $('.staffName').replaceWith('<h3>' + staffMember + '</h3');
            $('.staffPosition').replaceWith('<h3>' + staffPosition + '</h3');
            $('.staffPic').replaceWith('<img class="shadow marginFixImg" src="ftp/' + staffPicture + '" />'); 
            $('.staffDescription').replaceWith('<p>' + staffDescription + '</p>'); 
            } else {  }
     <?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" ?>
     <staff id="1" name="Nicholas Decker" position="Wizard of Light Bulb Moments" pic="nicholas.jpg" description="Pancakes can save lives. Being a Morman Man can save wives. Having no legs can save dives. Riding your bike can save drives." />
     <staff id="2" name="Francisco Garcia" position="Bull Fighter" pic="frank.jpg" description="One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." />
     <staff id="3" name="Smiling Shark" position="Death Biter" pic="http://i.imgur.com/VZVET.jpg" description="arks have skeletons composed of cartilage rather than of bone. With a few exceptions, sharks have torpedo-shaped bodies—an efficient, streamlined design for fast-swimming predators. " />

    A test for a friend

    EDIT:  I tried attempted to put an iframe in here..then realized I could just upload the picture here instead of trying to get around his anti-funwall.   I guess I can put all blocked content here

    Intermission (post out of order)

    image The arrow tip got caught in the 15 year old dinosaur. In his spine. As soon as it hit he flopped, had very little fight left. Then the bang stick really made it easy to being him in. Jessica got two tags this year in the lottery so she is the one to use the equipment. His body should be twice his size. Gators sometimes get sick or get something stuck in their mouth and can’t eat. It’s just about dark now so here come the bugs and Charlie Murphy.

    What about a meepface?

    Somebody’s Instagram Feed